Enjoy the Frustration
In the past year, we have mastered the pivot at Female Footballers. We have navigated an ever changing soccer landscape. We have offered many different mental skills training options from courses, to webinars, to online zoom team sessions, to on field team sessions, to privates to a podcast, to a mentorship program. It's exhausting just writing it all down. But we aren’t done yet. Quite frankly, we are just getting started. And we are growing. We are slowly figuring out the needs of our clients and the market in which we serve. We are learning that PLAYERS NEED MENTORS, PARENTS NEED TO BE EDUCATED and COACHES NEED HELP.
But there is an overwhelming dilemma we have noticed in our work in the past year. That dilemma is the lack of WHOLE PLAYER DEVELOPMENT being promoted in youth soccer in America. From rec leagues to competitive programs touting college scholarships, to high school programs and many private training programs, the focus seems to be heavily weighted towards the technical, tactical and physical elements of the game with a big gaping hole in the mental space. WHY IS THIS THE CASE?
We have a few thoughts.( Keep in mind these thoughts are generalizations that reflect the stereotypes of what we are seeing.)
EDUCATION- there are very few opportunities for education on the mental side of the game for Coaches, Parents and Players. The United Soccer Coaches offer a few small certificated courses on the mental side for coaches. But the governing body of US Soccer doesn’t require coaches to be educated on the social, emotional or cognitive development of the youth that play. Parent education comes from individual clubs or private companies which both mainly offer these opportunities to get the families to continue to throw money their way for this billion dollar industry. And the player education on the mental side is expected to just magically happen inside the most “mentally tough” players. Or when players get a great coach they are molded into whatever the coach or club deems “mentally tough.”
LANGUAGE- There is confusion on what Mental Skills are. Some call it the psycho social side, others the mindset, and some call it mental performance. Different sports psychologists might use different terminology and we have found that these terms tend to vary amongst the level of play.
FEELINGS- there are many mixed emotions on coaching mental skills. Some believe players are either mentally strong or not. Some believe it’s something you learn at the highest level only. Some see it as skills that are only appropriate for certain ages. Some think there is no time or place for mental skills in soccer.
STIGMA- many people struggle to get on board with mental skills training because it’s connected to mental health. And mental health here in America has a stigma associated with it. A negative connotation that promotes people to refrain from talking about their feelings and struggles.
And that is what we are seeing. STRUGGLES. Players struggling to navigate their worlds opening up after covid and figuring out who they are as a player again. Or even who they are period. Parents are struggling with how to help their daughters regain their confidence and dig deep to find even more resilience (after this year) in their child when they lose a game or make a mistake. And Coaches…Coaches are struggling. They are in a structure where the demand on them is higher than the support for them. Just like teachers, coaches are being asked to help players socially, emotionally and cognitively more than ever before. And many are trying hard to do this with few resources available to them. Like teachers they feel the tug of war between accepting that this is part of their role and fighting against it.
So where do we all go from here? We can all only go up. We keep spreading the message that mental mindset matters. We keep trying to help players, parents and coaches. Sometimes we get frustrated that this message isn’t spreading fast enough or wide enough. Our frustration occurs when we hear these players, parents or coaches complain about the issues they see...lack of confidence, no time for team building, girl drama, pressure to be perfect, eating issues, body image, burnout, lack of motivation, etc. But when we think about it, we remember what Dan Abrahams, a prominent sports psychologist, once told us. “Enjoy the frustration.” We know that we only grow in discomfort. So it's time to get more comfortable with the uncomfortable.
Opinions on this topic? We’d love to hear from you! Interested in learning more about what we do at Female Footballers? Shoot us an email at kassie@femalefootballers.org