Katie Meyer
On December 7, 2019 at Avaya Stadium in San Jose, I witnessed two women’s soccer powerhouses battle it out in penalty kicks to decide the final of the NCAA tournament. Stanford vs UNC. Watching a freshman goalkeeper make two crucial saves, she helped Stanford win the National Championship. I was overcome with competing emotions. First, I was slightly happy to see UNC lose as they had already won so many times before. I was also slightly mad rooting for rival Stanford as an alumna of UC Berkeley women’s soccer— our blood runs blue and gold for life. But the overwhelming emotion was curiosity.
Curiosity because this goalkeeper did something after her saves that was different than we’d typically seen female players do in these situations. She fearlessly went over to the camera after some amazing diving saves, yelled something to the effect of “hell yes” over and over, pointed to her jersey, and then pretended to zip her lips and drop the zipper. That goalkeeper was Katie Meyer.
My initial reaction was curiosity because I knew at that moment there would be a conflicting response. Half of the women’s soccer community would love this reaction, love the show of confidence, and love the representation of being proud of a great performance. But the other half of the women’s soccer community would be turned off by this reaction. They might think it was cocky, bold, or surprising.
In 2019 I had been slowly doing things for FF but it wasn’t full throttle. I left the game feeling inspired to dive right in. Dive into the curiosity and the conflict of situations like this that create a dichotomy between outwardly expressing that confidence or not for young girls. I wanted to poll girls everywhere about it. It was then that I decided to jump back into my Female Footballers work. I had been training a young girl at the time. She and I had conversations about Katie Meyer. It was so fascinating to discuss this with a teen. Someone from a different generation. We discussed the lack of this type of representation on the female side of the game. And we discussed how when girls show this kind of confidence in the world, or when we push back against societal norms, we get stereotyped…silenced…made to feel that it's wrong to be proud. Made to feel like we can’t show this level of confidence. Made to feel that humility is best. That true confidence means we aren’t supposed to be overtly happy with ourselves. At that time we had just won the World Cup and Megan Rapinoe was all over the news. She was already starting to get backlash for having a voice. Today as I write this, three years later, Hope Solo launched the first episode of her podcast where she interviewed Carli Lloyd about the USWNT’s culture and details of the equal pay lawsuit. Carli has already come onto Instagram having to defend her stance. And Hope has been defending her outspoken voice against critics for too long now.
The news today of Katie Meyer’s passing hit home hard for me. I’m not her teammate, friend, loved one, or acquaintance. I’ve spent the day unsure why it's bothering me so much. But I think through writing this, I have figured it out. I wish I was like her. I wish I showed that confidence. I wish I didn’t hide it. I wish I felt unafraid to be proud. There are just so few women in the world that are unapologetically themselves, unafraid to speak up. When we lose one, it feels like a loss for all of us.
Katie Meyer was a change maker in the short collegiate career that she had. She made an impact in a moment. She inspired so many. And she continued to lean into her role as an advocate for women in sport. I didn’t know her personally. I worry about the circumstances of her death. Not sure if they are mental health related. If so, this blog post will have a second edition to it. But Katie Meyer gave the young girls in that stadium and the ones watching on TV that night, an image of a confident female. We don’t see it enough. It's amazing what visibility and representation can do for young girls. It helps them strive for more, for better. It helps them understand that if they see it, they can be it. And in our world, there are far more negative things shown and said about women than positive ones.
So, I have a message for every female footballer out there, young and old: Let’s be like Katie Meyer. Be the change you wish to see. Question why something makes you feel uncomfortable. Realize that others' opinions are often a projection of them, not you. Don’t be afraid to be different, to be bold or to be confident. Challenge the idea that we have to tame who we are to get ahead. And do it all until we've broken every stereotype, made everyone comfortable being uncomfortable and until we don’t have to do anymore. That it just becomes normal. Regardless of how she died, I think we owe this to Katie Meyer. It's what she should be remembered for. It's what she embodied and provided our young female footballers, and for that, we are all forever grateful. Rest in peace Katie Meyer. Our condolences go out to her family, friends, teammates and the Stanford community.