Injuries-You're NOT alone
I remember the day I tore my ACL like it was yesterday. I was playing high school soccer. I know the field where it happened and the uniform I was wearing. I remember sitting on the couch and crying when I got my MRI results. The physical pain of the injury was one thing, but it was the fear and uncertainty that scared me more.
So much work is done on healing the physical side of injuries. We go to physical therapy, do our exercises, build back our fitness and train like crazy to get back on the field. But we don’t talk about the mental side of injuries enough. Throughout my recovery process, I feared that I would never be as good as I was before. I feared that I would no longer be able to go to Stanford. I feared that the pain in my patellar tendon would never go away. It felt like my whole identity was wrapped up in being a soccer player and that was ripped away from me.
If you are going through an injury and feeling any of these things, know you are not alone. Injuries are tough. They never come at a good time and you often feel alone. These four things were essential in my mental road to recovery and hopefully they can help you too.
1. Invest in your passions outside of soccer
The year before I tore my ACL, soccer became my whole world. I watched games on TV, practiced as much as I could, ate the right foods, and recovered in my down time. I loved the sport and was finding success, so I threw myself into it. Soccer was my identity. So, when I was told that I wouldn’t play for 9 months, I wasn’t sure who I would be without soccer. I still watched professional games on TV, but watching my own team play was hard. I wanted to be on the field so bad. I was sad. I was feeling sorry for myself.
Thankfully, I had people around me who encouraged me to focus on other passions of mine during this break from soccer. I started to read. I loved historical fiction novels and reading stories of powerful women like Isabelle in the Nightingale. Through reading, I discovered meditation and started to work on calming my mind each day. I also got more involved in my church and worked for a non-profit over the summer. Through all of these things I was building pieces of my identity. I felt better. I learned that I am more than just a soccer player and that there are other things in the world that interest me. This does not make me a less dedicated athlete, but rather a well-rounded and resilient person.
Take a second to think about what interests you. What are you passionate about? You can invest in these passions while still crushing your physical recovery.
2. Celebrate the little wins
Immediately after my surgery, my mind went to when I would step back on the field. So, when I tried to walk and felt pain, I was frustrated. When I tried to do a cycle on the bike and couldn’t, I wanted to cry. When parts of my rehab did not come easily, I got angry. After weeks of being in a bad mood, my dad said, “stop trying to be perfect.” Rehab is an imperfect process. Parts of it go well, parts of it don’t. It is certainly not a steady climb to the top. I was going to drive myself crazy if I tried to do it all “perfectly.”
Instead, I set small goals for myself and celebrated little wins. I focused less on a timeline and the final goal of getting back out on the field, and more on the day to day things I could do. I celebrated the first time I could walk up the stairs at my doctor’s office. I celebrated the first time I could walk down the stairs. I celebrated when I was able to bend my knee past 90°. I celebrated the first time I jogged. Throughout my recovery process, I celebrated what I was able to accomplish no matter how small or simple the action was.
In doing this, I felt pride and accomplishment rather than frustration and failure. So set small milestones for yourself. Share them with your friends and family and celebrate when you hit those milestones, even if it takes you longer than you want it to. It is all about progress not perfection.
3. Be patient
On the wall in my room in high school I had a sign that said, “impatience is a virtue.” So, trust me when I tell you that hearing the words “be patient” makes me mad, frustrated, and honestly more impatient.
When I first met with my surgeon, he said that I could be back on the field in 6 months. I had that date in my head and then a few weeks after surgery he told me waiting until 9 months is the smartest thing to do. At my 9 month checkup, he said I should wait a year to decrease my risk of a re-tear. My patience was certainly tested during this process. When the year finally came and I got to step back on the field, I expected to be pinging the ball around just like I did before. I will never forget my first game back from injury. I was a step behind and my team lost 7-0.
I came off the field frustrated with myself and frustrated my team had lost. Again, the people around me gave me perspective. This was my first time playing a game in a year and I was upset? My second game was certainly nowhere near perfect, but I enjoyed just being back on the field.
When you go through an injury, your body changes. It takes time for you to feel like yourself again on the field. Do not give up or get upset when it takes time. Be patient. Believe that you will be you again and that might not mean that you are the same exact player that you were before. I came back from my ACL a better player than I was before. But I was a different player. I learned how to use my body better and highlight my strengths.
4. Surround yourself with good people
Injuries are the worst and they are nearly impossible to get through on your own. I needed people around me who loved me to support me, challenge me and provide perspective. Keep the people who inspire you and make you feel better close. Tell them when you are struggling. Tell them when you are celebrating a little win. Let them be a part of your journey.
Unfortunately, injuries in sports are inevitable. Know that it is going to be hard mentally and physically. But know that you can get through it. Invest in yourself outside of your sport, celebrate your successes, be patient and surround yourself with good people. And know that you are not alone in this journey.