When are we going to listen?
Sunday was a tragic day in the world of sports. We lost a legend, Kobe Bryant. He was an amazing athlete, father, husband and coach. I could sit here and tell you how great he was with all of his stats from his two decade basketball career, or I could take this in a different direction. Which I am now going to do.
When a great legend type athlete leaves us, we often use that time to talk about their accomplishments on the field or court. The amazing shots, the points they scored. The defense they displayed game in and game out. But every now and then a person who leaves us leaves an impression deeper than that. I think the reason this loss is so hard is because he stood for more than the points he scored. It would be doing a disservice to not highlight the many things he stood for through his play and when he retired.
I am sure you are thinking why are we talking about a male basketball player on a female soccer platform...because every now and then a sports figure transcends gender and sport to make an impression that all of us can learn from. It's very rare, but it's true. His discipline, mindset, athleticism, and attitude on and off the court are what made him special. But it was also his ability to use his platform to elevate the underdog. The sports who needed a voice, the gender that needed the support. And the youth players that needed help.
He was a member of the Aspen Institute Sport and Society program. He joined a cause through them called Project Play where he could lend his voice to help youth athletes have better access to coaches and improved overall experiences. He recognized that sport could be a place for kids to learn about life. It was here that he said,
“Be competitive. I mean, the issues that we run into as a society – I believe as it relates to competition, whether it’s in sports or in the financial sector – it’s not the competition itself but it’s how we process competition. How do we emotionally respond to competition? That is the question. We’re not going to rid the world of competition. It’s there. So can we teach our kids at an early age how to deal with competition? Whether you win or lose, how do you approach the next game? It’s about learning. You are trying to win. But in order to win, you have to learn. And learning takes precedence over winning. I think we need to teach our kids how to handle that. When you shelter them and all of a sudden they get into a situation where they lose or they fail, they do not know how to deal with that because we haven’t taught them how to deal with that. Sports is a safe place where we can do that.”
I love this excerpt from his conversation with this organization. He touches on something that I feel we try to touch on here at Female Footballers through our work in our clinics and camps. Its that if we are always providing opportunities to excel, win and not lose, how are we going to gain the skills necessary for persevere when we fail? Many kids are striving to be on the top team, the undefeated team, the team with the most wins. Parents are moving children from club to club to chase the winningest teams because they think they need to be there to get the most opportunities. But what opportunities are we talking about? The opportunities for the college scholarship? Is that more important than learning how to fail? Isn’t that the skill that will help them in life more? So many great legends of the game share their experiences and their thoughts on these types of lessons through sports. Yet we still seem to pay more attention to our own FOMO (fear of missing out). We are so worried about our girls falling behind, that we miss the point of it all in the end. The point that it's NOT about the stats, the points, or the style. It's about the messages, the lessons and the life changing moments. So when are we going to start listening?